The polarization of the system pulls us into the third role: the savior. The reality is that in a relationship between two consenting adults, the responsibility for continued dysfunction is shared between both people. Her: Ok, I’ll tell him to call you at 415–1111–1111. I have stuck around many times when I really should have left. They will assert this reality onto the codependent, and others, insisting that the other believes it. A benefit of not leaving is that I get to tell you some weird stories about what happened next. Often, the aspects of reality that are being asserted are subjective and arguable, but sometimes they are beliefs that do not match easily verifiable facts.