She had just taken a position at a hospital where I knew there were many young doctors who would be working alongside her.I expected that she was going to be pursued by a number of them. It took me a while to figure out why, Sally had become invisible.I was talking some time ago with a young, but not very young, friend of the family about why she had not married.“There’s nobody around here that is eligible,” she said. Last time I counted, there were eight million people in New York.” “They’re all married, or gay. Still, this attractive and talented person—who said she wanted to get married—was not dating anyone. After my mother died, my father, who was sixty-four at the time, told me morosely that he would never find anyone like my mother; but he married two more times in the space of the next three years.Each of them told me that they wanted very much to get married, yet none of them was successful in finding anyone.
I don’t want to ask for permission to buy the car I want or to stay out late with my friends.Other people seem to have no trouble finding someone to marry. Over the years I have been a practicing psychiatrist, I have known a number of people who married the same person twice, and, recently, someone who married the same person three times!I have never understood these repeat marriages to be a response to a dearth of other potential partners.It is just that getting away from a spouse for a while sometimes allows a couple to remember all the good times they had together back in the beginning of their marriage.They tend to forget those other matters that led to their divorce—until they remarry. Usually, dating relationships spring up in three different settings: first, by meeting other people in the same community.I don’t want someone making a claim on my hard-earned money. ” If a man or woman thinks of marriage as unpleasant, it will not be possible to find anyone desirable to marry.