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Here's what it's like to answer 36 questions that will make you seriously doubt Ok Cupid's algorithmic magic — and the fate of humanity, while you're at it.

Come on, there are lots of young, impressionable minds on Ok Cupid.

, touch on some fundamental topics that seem useful for connecting you to a like-minded mate.

Answering the questions, you feel as though a strange but benevolent force is guiding you. There are practical, insightful questions — then there are thousands of weirdly specific, bizarre, typo-laden questions (many of them user-generated) that form the weird, dark underbelly of the Ok Cupid experience.

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Know that feeling you get when a test is being passed out in class?

But this Ok Cupid thing is for finding my forever-love, and forever is a long time to, uh, hold back. It's actually a funny story, involving some old friends and an ongoing joke we share — well, probably not that funny to anybody else. How many of these questions deal with bodily functions and toilets? I've always wanted to be a squirrel (they've got fabulous tails) or a penguin (for the belly-sliding).

When do we get to the ones about how deserving I am of a man with beautiful arms and at least mediocre listening skills? But in light of all the thought I just gave to the approaching global catastrophe, maybe I should pick an animal that lives in the water? Are those apocalyptic dreams I've been having lately trying to tell me something?

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You have stories to tell, and passions to share, and things to talk about that are more interesting than the weather.

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