I told her that because I liked her so much, I didn’t want to get scared off by her intensity.Class act that she was, she took it in stride, and we remained friends for years after dating.We want people to be real, authentic, and emotionally available, yet we cringe and we flee when they are. I’m particularly glad you wrote this email because it’s useful to hear from a woman who just not that into HIM.I wouldn’t say this is the height of hypocrisy, because I don’t know how you get when you really like a guy. It goes to show that, as abhorrent as we find the concept of “game-playing”, sometimes a little game playing is exactly what is necessary to keep the fire burning. I remember a woman that I went on a date with about seven years ago.What I don’t understand is why they get so obsessive.
I kid, Leah, because it’s about as ironic as any dating situation can be. Of course, if he’s already a father of two, and also recently divorced, he might not be ready to dive back into a committed relationship. That’s simply two good people who may be compatible, but are not a good fit at the time.They might call you fat in front of your friends, or make fun of your clothes. You don’t understand what went wrong, or why your partner acts the way they do or what you can do to make things better.They might lose their temper in the middle of a restaurant because they think you are flirting with the waiter. You’re not always sure what the problem is, but things never add up. If you follow what they say, things still don’t get better. Like flipping a switch, he can change drastically from one extreme to the next. He or she acts one way when they are around you, but completely different around your parents, and completely different around their friends. Slowly, you lose your friends until you feel like your partner is the only person you have left. Your partner cycles from mean and vicious to sweet and loving, then back again. He might set traps for squirrels or rabbits and then torture them. It seems like your partner is two completely different people. Your partner finds faults with your friends or makes you feel bad or uncomfortable about any time you spend with other people. You want to believe that this is possible, but the cycle keeps repeating and each time your self-esteem is chipped away at, bit by bit. He might hit or kick your dog whenever he comes over.I do want to be in a relationship, with the right person, and I do want to be married again.