Taking a break in a relationship and dating other people

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First off, there should be clearly defined expectations around dating or having sex with other people, Chlipala says."If and when you get back together, you don't want trust issues or feeling betrayed to become a new problem to tackle because of unspoken expectations," she says.Not articulating the issue to your partner will just lead to more anxiety and confusion.You can think about it this way: After the break, both partners should be able to answer the question, "What will be different? You can't expect your partner to exist in a vacuum during the break, and you shouldn't be expected to, either."It wasn't that they weren't a good fit, they just needed some information and skills to make their relationship work," says Anita Chlipala, LMFT, a relationship expert in Chicago.

"A break means some part of the relationship has to change, or it won't survive."Taking a break can sound like someone is just buying time before an inevitable breakup, but some couples break up and then end up in committed long-term relationships or married.

If someone's going on a break because they want to see other people, that complicates the situation, Brateman says.

"You're not going to be thinking about the other person, because the relationship you're in is fun and easy — because it's new," she says.

Wouldn’t it be better though to just stay single and date people, rather than string someone along in a relationship and hurt them in this manner? You are temporarily put on hold so your partner can see if they can find someone better than you.

After all, being left hanging in emotional limbo is not fun, especially since the desire to see other people is seldom reciprocated by the other partner in the relationship. Here are the main reasons: • He's easing into a full-time breakup.• He's using it as a threat to get something more out of the relationship that he's not receiving.• It allows more free time, nights out with friends or separate vacations.• It stalls the marriage discussion.• He's trying to keep you interested by being evasive and playing hard to get.• It gives him more control. There is a chance that they may “settle for you” if nothing comes along but will you ever feel good about that? If a relationship is right, it really isn’t that much work.

It's the same as wanting your cake and eating it, too.

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